Accidental Punchlist

I have a punchlist. In fact whether we know it or not we all do. Some people realized that they wanted to be an accountant, a doctor, an engineer, and thus this desire moved onto their punchlist. Call it what you want. Call it your to do list or your to accomplish list. In fact if it never occurred to you to write this list down, then consider the idea well. Simply through writing down what you would like to achieve the idea is tangible. It is real even if only on a piece of paper.

I was pondering this thought the other day as I was working my second job. I reviewed the "check marks" on my list. Yes I've written three screenplays. Yes, I've pitched a television sitcom idea to studio executives. Yes I've jumped out of a perfectly good airplane and parachuted to the ground. Yes, I've been hit by a car as I walked down the street... twice. It was never on a list of goals or dreams. I never said as an apple cheeked youngster "when I grow up, I want to be hit by a car." And yet there it is. For the record: The cars screeched to a stop both times. Both times it was nothing more than a light hit. A bruise one of those times (I've taken worse falling off of a ladder three feet from the ground breaking my ankle).

Point is I realized then that I have another list that is wholly unpredictable. It's not all negative like getting hit by a car, most of my accidental list is quite wonderful. I fell into a part in a play in high school that we toured all over Wales, England with. I have drawn blood from an Alpaca. I rubbed the belly of an Alligator (an adult one). I met my better half.

Maybe the real testament is to notice that somehow both lists have shaped my life. Shown me purpose, Made me laugh, cry, who I am. I hope that you take notice. I hope you deliberately assert yourself for more. I hope you realize that two lists make up your life. Look it up. Mostly I hope that all of us cross off all of our dreams from our list.

“Nature” Has Nothing to do With it.

I can not watch nature documentaries. An affliction that I have had for some time. If there is a documentary that will show cubs frolicking, and animals living care free and happy, well then sign me up. Inevitably, the show documents death. Let’s be clear here. I’m fine with the notion that there is a circle of life, and that carnivores eat herbivores, and so on. I can see that this is nature and this is what it supposed to be.

I am not against hunting for the same reason. I have never been hunting, nor do I plan to soon, but I can keenly see our place in the bigger circle of life, and I am fully aware that to a mountain lion people look fairly tasty. Steak tastes good, Venison tastes good, so on. I just want to make sure that no one thinks that I am on some sort of a vegetarian rant here. Nuff’ said.

No, what bothers me in the shows is that the “nature” nulls a basic human need. Humans have a “nature” to us that make us want to save lives. It’s part of our higher thinking. A gift of conscience and intelligence tells us that life is a cherished thing. Unlike all other animals we have a higher level of thinking that allows us to see what is right and what is wrong.

Why then when I saw March of the Penguins did I witness a small group of baby penguins wander away from the larger group and then freeze to death? Realize if you will, there is a film crew manning the cameras. I will assume that there was someone there with a bit of medical training and I will guarantee that there were penguin experts on hand.

Right. I get you. “It’s nature. They shouldn’t interfere”. I disagree. Is it nature when a man made High Definition camera is mysteriously in the face of these penguins? I forgot that in science class we had that test on “The camera bushes of Antarctica”. There is another part of human nature at work here. The part that tells us that we are not a part of nature. That we are somehow separate from the circle of life and that by documenting this thing called nature the right thing to do is to “not interfere”.

To that, all I can say is: the very fact that you are on location means that you are a part of that very moment in nature. It is true that the penguins would have frozen if a camera was there or not. A tree does make a sound when it falls even if no one is there to hear it. That’s “nature”. But the fact remains that by being at a location filming means that it is the charge of us “higher thinkers” to decide what we will do. The hunter chooses to shoot his prey. The animal experts should intervene when there will be an unnecessary death.

Disagree? Then that is to say that the hunter is interfering with nature, right? Fine. Let me describe another documentary I was unfortunate to have seen. It was about killer whales and the mighty humpback whales. See killer whales are by nature hunters. The documentary rolled on as the killer whales jumped on the back of a baby calf repeatedly until the baby died. The fact there were higher thinking humans there means that something could have been done. The whales could have been scared off. Instead the film crew celebrated that they could capture the moment on film. In the end the killer hales did not eat the endangered species. They sort of nibbled at the calf and moved on. Hunting for the sake of hunting. I equate this to game hunting which I am very much against.

If an endangered species is being documented, and it becomes weak from starvation, isn’t it the responsibility of the only animal that can understand what is happening to it to step in and help? Take our animal counterparts. When a boy fell into an ape pit, didn’t the mother coddle and protect the little boy? That’s basic thinking at work and the choice was still made with ease to help.

We are a part of that. We have our place in nature. We can understand the principles behind protecting the environment, and yet we want to keep rolling. This is because we can choose to do so. Of all of the animals we are the blessed to know we have the choice.

My Reservations About New Year’s Resolutions

I try not to make New Year’s resolutions as a rule. I find that the whole thing is a means off putting of changes that you already know that you have to make. Frankly if you are not ready to make the change RIGHT NOW then you are really not going to stick with whatever vice you are trying to break in yourself.

Despite all of my feelings on the self defeating practice of New Year’s Resolutions I actually found myself making one this year. Let me defend my honor here: I constantly look for ways that I can be better, ways that I can grow. Between Christmas, and New Years Eve I didn’t write a single line. I am a writer. Took me a while to admit it, others knew before I did… but I digress. It occurred to me on New Year’s Eve that I had not touched the keyboard. I didn’t put the pen to paper. If I am a writer, and I don’t write, then isn’t that like being a Fireman and watching a fire burn?

What was my resolution then? A page a day. Simple. I will write a page a day. There is not going to be a day that goes by that I feel too tired, too sleepy, too sick. Hell or high water I will write a page a day. I happily announced that I actually had a New Years Resolution. I shouted it from the roof tops.

So here I sit pounding on the keyboard for the first time in about ten days. I can give you reasons. My daughter gave birth to a daughter. I fell ill. I had a couple of social events to attend to over the weekend.

My point is that just because I broke a resolution that I had made on New Year’s Eve, does not mean that I will wait for next year to try again. I will write a page a day. If a day goes by that I haven’t written a poem, a short story, A couple of pages of my screenplay… well then so be it. I will sit back down again and I will write A Page A Day.

My page a day goes for other things that I know I need to fix. I will not wait for an arbitrary date to change the fact that I need to lose weight. I will not beat myself up over the fact that I have not meditated every day like I used to. I will just do so. I would like to learn Spanish. I think in California it will be an asset. Guess I will get to that. Not on a specific date on the calendar, simply when I think that I will have the time and patience.

I know that many self help gurus all say that you should set definite dates. Definite goals. The goals I agree with, it’s those dates that will always get to you. Just do whatever it is that you know that you have to do. If you don’t… Then just do. Not meeting a self induced deadline is an easy way to quit. An easy way to say: I just didn’t accomplish that thing… I say MEH! To self inflicted deadlines and embrace that you will meat all of your goals.
A Page A Day.

Eyes Only

Eyes Only

There are things seen by the naked eye that defy all belief. A natural twist in nature that draws our eyes in and causes our mouth to gape open uncontrollably. Or an amazing play in a sports arena that causes us to rub our eyes in disbelief. Maybe it is seeing the love of your life for the first time, and though your eyes train onto that person you somehow can remember every detail of all the people and things in the background. You can try to snap a photo as a keepsake, your memory cringes at the image you see on the Kodak paper. The vision is meant for “eyes only”.

Such a thing happened when we were returning from my parent’s home in New Mexico. Alamogordo is a town that sits in the middle of nowhere. It is literally surrounded by white desert sand, and boxed in by rugged, towering mountains. While we were in New Mexico we actually had some snow fall in the desert plain that my folks call home. None of the snow stuck where we were, but the mountains became white over night. By whatever fate guides the universe the moon was full and bright at the same time as our visit.

We left early Sunday morning. My heart was heavy because we were leaving behind family that we were just starting to reconnect with. It was decided that I should be the first to drive. The white sands of the desert reflected the bright moon’s rays and turned the area as a whole into a blue hued study of nighttime desert. The sun was not even a thought on the low desert plain, yet one could see out in all directions for horizon.

Now this is when I saw the amazing view that inspired me to write this blog at all. I pause for a moment, because I really want to describe my vision in a way that perhaps you could close your eyes and see it as I did. I hope to do the experience justice. I looked up at the mountains that split our path out of its rock.

The night sky over the valley that we were leaving was crisp with out a single blemish or wisp of cloud to block the full moon, or her sister stars. The road was moving up into the pale mountain and at the very peak; a thick blanket of cloud was rolling over the top of the jagged mountain. The man made gorge ahead was already filed with the invading cotton-like cloud. I marveled as the cloud “caught” itself on those misshapen spires, and it looked as though the cloud was fragile, like fine linen, and it had torn itself as it rolled over.

Lourdes grabbed her digital camera hoping to catch the image. Nothing. The camera could not see what I was witnessing. Lourdes tried again, and the only thing that showed up was the camera hungry moon. No, this was not an image meant for camera (at least our camera), and even if it did take, then I would be disappointed at the end result. There was an energy as we climbed out of the desert valley, and over the mountain. My heart grew light again at the experience. I find now that remembering the view, the feeling is a jolt in and of itself. Meant for me to see. Meant for me to remember.

I realize that we all have the images in our mind that make even our brightest photos seem dreary. They are the images that we think of as we drift off to sleep. They are the images that cause us to smile a little, and make us feel warm all over again.

There is a scene in the Movie BLADE RUNNER that comes to mind. An android name Roy Batty (Rutger Hower) is dying, and the idea that all that he has seen and done will be lost forever when he does:

“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.Time … to die.”
The moments are not lost in time, they are with us, they make us, and we define them. If only the android had written Blogs…

Instructions for Holiday Snooping.

This is my disclaimer: If you are not interested in knowing what you might get as a Holiday gift, then read no further. Children: Make sure your Folks don’t catch you reading this instructional blog.

Growing up, every family has its traditions. We had a few. One present Christmas eve, chocolate covered cherries gifted to dad every year (even though he never really liked them we later found out), and finding our parents present stash and/or figuring out what was wrapped under the tree.

The three of us kids, Jeff, Jeni, and me had become quite the pros at finding out what we were getting for Christmas every year. But like all pros, we floundered before we achieved Christmas sleuthing greatness.

Here is what does Not work: Poking holes in the wrapping paper. First off, you truly can’t make out what’s in the wrapped treasure by the small hole you just put in there. Secondly: What seemed like a small hole to you was in fact a gaping tear in the red or green patterned paper. A tear that was a tell-tale sign that sleuthing had occurred.

Then, pumping information from your siblings is also a losing proposition. For my sibs and me it was a bargaining chip. We would hold the valued information over each other’s heads like a doggy biscuit to a starving dog. But even in the times that we could pump the other for the info, the parents would inevitably find out the information leaked. Stands to reason that if your sibs leaked the info to you, then the adept parents could do the same in finding out if they KEPT the secret.

“So” you ponder, “what does work?” Scissors and tape. Allow me to explain. Find the tape that your parents (or any gift giver) used to wrap your presents. Then get your mitts on a small pair of scissors. It is important that the scissors be small enough to make a fine incision, and they should also be the pointy kind. Take the scissors and find the sweet spot where the wrapping paper was taped together.

Now cut the tape at the crease where the two bits of folded paper meet. GENTLE! Cut the paper itself, and you have tipped your hat and all will know that you’ve spied your gift. Carefully, and I do mean carefully lift the flap of wrapping paper to reveal the one side of wrapped gift. DO NOT get greedy. You only need to see the one side of the box to know what it is. Don’t see any logos or writing? One of two things. Either you are skilled enough to completely unwrap and then re-wrap the gift, or quit while you are ahead… Was that the car I heard pulling up the driveway? Make sure you have the time necessary to undo the unwrap.

For the record I was never upset that I learned what was under the tree on Christmas morning ahead of time, but I was super thrilled when I was genuinely surprised by a gift. The anticipation is the key to Holiday gifts. Not knowing is an excitement that is addictive and thrilling and magical all at once. That anticipation is gone the second you find out.

Nowadays my wife and I both pretty much know what we are getting for Christmas ahead of time. It happens as you get deeper into the marriage and you share all accounting info for the joint account. My thrill is not in the sleuthing anymore, but in finding ways to surprise my wife and family during this one special time each year.

I am also all pro when it comes to properly wrapping a present to be “sleuth proof”.

Happy Holidays!